In celebration of my return to my sister’s apartment, where A Couple of Snark was first created, I felt an article was in order. The leftover Thanksgiving alcohol isn’t exactly hindering any illusions I might have about my own hilarity.
I dont really feel like putting a whole situation together for you assholes, so here’s just a collection of funny thoughts I had. I’m sure this all makes very little sense to you without context, but trust me, this shit was hilarious when I was driving down the turnpike to New York.
1) There are so many fucking MORBIDLY obese children gorging themselves at rest-stops on I-95. I guess the fact that they live in a nation that thrives off of coating every meal in cheese and then deep frying it and serving it with a 40oz sugar-packed soda doesn’t exactly help these poor little shits.
2) Their parents are also MORBIDLY obese. Is this why Americans love unnecessarily large SUVs? What exactly is the point of a car that looks like it was designed to do nothing but haul Laura’s big ass? Do you really need a 4WD vehicle to navigate the cul-de-sacs of your ritzy ass little neighbourhoods? I understand those leaves can be mighty tricky to handle in a sedan.
3) I’m bored. Thirsty.
I miss being funny.
