A Couple of Snark

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While I do appreciate my counterpart’s fairly accurate description of me…

Zack: The intelligent smooth-talker filled with witicisms about everything in his life, since it’s always interesting – being snarky in just the right places.

…she did fail to mention one crucial thing. I ooze class. It’s painful just how damned classy I am. And since most Americans appear to be fairly clueless when it comes to geography, here’s a quick lesson for those who need it.

Where in the world to buy what you need to buy to be classy:

Your vodka: Poland
Your whiskey: Scotland
Your car: I don’t give a fuck, as long as it goes around a corner
Your motorcycle: Italy
Your clothes: Italy
Your beer: Belgium
Your furniture: Sweden
Your television: Japan
Your coffee: Indonesia

So go out there and get it right, and please, have some goddamned class. Don’t put your feet up on the dashboard when you’re riding in the passenger side of a car.